Waiting or wasting

so here I am sitting in a tin can high above the world in the thick of it. trucking along. ups and downs will come. they do come sometimes it feels like more down than up. this week has been that for me. my time is precious . your time is precious. people always say you only live once. I say you live everyday you only die once. everyday is important. I sometimes feel like I’m stuck is this loop wasting time. I try and be positive. I’m going to be 30 this year and dont get me wrong this isn’t me having a midlife crisis. I’m not that worried about the number. I dont believe myself to be too old. but I believe the problems I face have aged me and I just want for them to slow done. I dont know if I can take much more. the good is always there and we must focus on that I know that. that doesn’t make it easy. months ago i decided to change my life change my career change my goals. and I started on the path that I thought would lead me to that. now I cant but wonder if I’m wasting my time. I just want to help others but the place I’m volunteer firefighting is slow we dont get a lot of fires and training is slow and the academy is supposed to happen soon but soon feels like it never comes. and I only have to 35 to get it all done and my mom is not well. and my dad is freaking and my time keeps getting stretched thin. this week has been tough juggling it. my window wiper broke and it felt like the last straw and I just dont have time for it. any of it. now I’m driving around in the rain witouthout a window wiper because i dont have the will or the time to fix it I’m just getting buried. there is a shinning light at the end of the tunnel I know that and this to shall pass. I love my lady dearly and my dog and my mom and dad. I just dont want to wait anymore or waste anymore. Its getting hard to stand on ice.

as always much love from Chicago wessman out

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