My first teacher

You tought me how to be a good person. You showed me by example. How to turn the other cheek. You showed me joy. You gave me life. I remember so many good things about you and still it was short. I see you holding my kids I see you in my kids. I see you looking out the window reading your Bible. You gave me my faith. You taught me to read and write. To walk. To eat. You taught me to think for myself. I miss you. I miss what could have been. I believe you’re looking down at us. I can take strength in that. So much of my childhood was you. The ghost of you haunts my days in the best ways. You are a mountain, a sunset, a bird that stops by to say hi. You always put me first as a kid I see that. I’m sorry I was short with you and maybe harsh I’m not sure if that’s the you in me the honest the straight forward. I dont like to lie. I don’t like the bs. I’m very to the point to a fault .Now that I’m a father I understand your choice even less. Not that I’m not at peace with your choice. I just know that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for just 1 more moment with my kids. That’s why we do it. That’s why we do anything and maybe you felt as though your job was done. I don’t believe a mother’s job is ever done . You prepared me for life. It was your job to enjoy the fruits of your labor my kids. To see the happy ending. There may be many women in my life but there’s only one you. mom.anyway I’m glad you were my mom. I wouldn’t be me without you and I like me. I like the father that I am. You can take most the credit for that. You would’ve loved gwen and she would’ve loved you that is a fact. At least she has ashleys mom to give her double love the kids might actually be too loved lol. So grateful the kids get to experience the love of a grandparent rest easy thats covered. I’m sure giddy would’ve reminded you of me. I see a lot of myself in gwen she wants to be the star. she wants to make others laugh at her no matter what she does or how embarrassing she acts. She has little to no fear. giddy is giddy. smiles from ear to ear. You know I never pictured a son and yet he completes our life. Our fairytale. work is work same old same as they say. I know I never talked much about work and maybe that’s because I just do it. it’s hard to explain what it is. The house is good. Lots of work and upkeep. Your porch is still waiting on you. Maybe I’ll see you there. The kids mother has become quite the mother who knew lol. no I knew. I knew she had it in her. Shes a great mom. patience when she’s out. caring when she’s half asleep. thoughtful about everything. I couldn’t do it without her. Sure I can handle the kids here and there but 24/7 no way. Thanks for being my first teacher mom. Life went on without you oh so fast. I know it’s all part of life. I do wish for one last conversation I wish I could say all these things to you but this will have to do. I know it’s not over. happy mothers day mom and all the great mothers in my life and out there. Be the teacher your kids need. I know it’s hard to raise Humans and many women carry that torch. Even when it seems like you’re failing I’m telling you you’re killing it. kids just need to be loved and sometimes to draw on the walls. Words could never explain the gratitude I have for the moms in my life. Much love from Indiana adapt and love.