Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you… (simple plan)
hello my friends do you have regrets. do you ever wish for a different life or that you did it all different. that’s ok if you do. but you already know my advice on the issue of regrets. I don’t have them. my mind won’t let me have them. I can honestly say I didn’t choose to dance in every scenario. I’ve made countless mistakes. and yet I have 2 healthy kids and a wife the truly is my better half. and you know what if you’re reading this there’s still time for you to follow your dreams there’s still time for you to dance as long as you have breath in your lungs. clear eyes full hearts can’t lose. I’m reminded of a song I like called take it all back by judah and the lion. the song is weird because it’s sad it’s about regrets and yet the song makes you feel hopeful. when I got divorced I would listen to it and it was sad I would probably cry yet I felt great hope from it. I felt like it put into words how and what I was feeling and now I dance around the living room with my daughter and wife to it. if that’s you if you’re low and lost give it a listen and I hope you dance. I’ll throw it to the bottom of this blog. I’m not gonna lie to you 2 kids , a wife and a job is hard to juggle. it’s hard to find the time to dance. sometimes it feels like I’m just pushing ahead towards tomorrow not going anywhere like I’m stuck in this loop of job, sleep, eat and repeat. other times come when I lift my head up and time zipped by i get to play with my kids or dance or go for a walk with the family or just go to breakfast and it makes the routine of work sleep eat repeat all worth it. I have a good life. I heard a piece of advice about being frustrated with your kids or life when they act up and I like it. the advice was close your eyes and imagine you’re 80 all alone and your kids are all grown. maybe you still see them maybe you don’t but regardless you’ll miss them and even the bad shit they do. kids are monsters and life is a rat race a shit show if you will. if you have kids you know the house is always dirty before, after and during cleaning it. there’s always chores ,projects and whatever comes with a big house and it can get stressful taking care of everything. I feel bad when I can’t devote my time to my kids, project or wife. I need 3 of me. maybe 4. life the great balancing act. sometimes we get in our own ways. I know I do. the wife will tell you it’s hard for me to sit still. you know I’m trying to set myself up for success and it’s true my mind is always think about the next project. even that can be stressful at times. I want to make an awesome life for my family. I want the tree house for my kids I never had. I want the play room for my teenage kids. I’m selfish that way I want my kids to want to be home. I want to live in comfort . Just can’t get lost in that wants that I forget what I have. this blog is cool. I might not get to say goodbye to my family anything can happen at anytime. life is short. I’m happy to have a record of my thoughts. I’m happy my kids can get a sense of the type of father they had and they can see and know how I feel about them. not that I’m going anywhere. it’s just a fail safe. anyways it can be hard to see this life through a kids eyes. it’s all worth it hard shit is worth it. a realistic positive outlook is a good way to live. we put so many burdens on ourselves. I think I’m a good dad and I still wonder everyday if I’m doing it right. I hope I’m doing it right. I guess that’s half the battle I guess to question yourself to be self aware is hard sometimes. it’s the right way to be though. I question because I care so much. I don’t want to lose my family I don’t want to lose my wife again. I don’t want my kids to hate me or be burdened by me. I want to make their lives excellent. I want them to dance. I want them to take chances because they know I have their backs. I want you to take chances. I want you to dance. I want you to beleave in love. I want you to have your cake and eat it to. as long as I could remember I’ve wanted nothing but to be a father. only dads know the way we feel about our kids. words could never describe. I could write this blog forever and still never convey my feelings for my kids. how may things are you willing to die for to kill for. there’s nothing in the world that can change my mind. I’ll be dancing through this life with my kids and my wife. you got to let go of your fears that your not good enough. so stop reading this get off your ass and dance. take that step towards your dream. tell your kids you love them. tell your wife she’s everything. you can spend your whole life collecting things or you can spend it sharing moments with those that matter most to you dancing in the moonlight. as always love from the wessman clan in Indian. adapt and live. if you’ve enjoyed the read please let me know. I don’t do this for money. I do it to connect with my inner thoughts. I do it for my wife and kids. I do it for a lost soul. I do it because there’s so many negative things in the air. I do it because it’s hard for me to say my thoughts. I do it for you. the lonely. I do it so you know you’re not alone in your fears we all have them. hell I may be the only one who reads this and it’s ok to dance alone sometimes.
one day I woke up well on my way with my dreams true with you. Today we got a big house with nice clothes and you with a big old Diamond ring. Just happy to have you . I don’t need to take anything back. I got you. I’m awake. I’m awake