Yesterday I took myself out. I had lunch and dinner with myself. I bought myself a gift. I went to a movie by myself. It all kinda made me feel lonely. I mean I like myself as much as the next person but it’s nice to share things and time with others. I found out that I can’t even put my house back up on the market because the people who were gonna buy my house aren’t signing a piece of paper to dissolve the contract and they have till the 9th to get a loan that they know they won’t get. so they are intentionally being rude and making me wait for no reason. I’m stuck here.The only plus is I can bank more money and explore my feelings for someone while I’m here. I’m just so ready to move on. so ready.
Whoa – the house… is a temporary circumstance, albeit a shocker. Rude is so out of order. I thought I’d check in on you after seeing the pic of you and Walter. J, I think he’d enjoy Cali even though way too much of me and my old Winchester is driving that thought. I’m so glad that you took yourself out. Yeah, it can be so stark to not have a witness to even the day to day events. (recall I’m long winded here). I mean let me say this: your journey is helping people far beyond what you may imagine, and that’s called being present, and contribution. I did something very similar, took myself to Smith & Wollensky, got seated at a small table with a window view to the river, tried to really enjoy the moment and ordered way too much food (bone in ribeye, creamed spinach, baked potato). Sure, in my mind it would have been more fulfilling to be there with someone, and yet I got super special treatment so I can’t say that I look back on that day and come away feeling entirely alone. Maybe so many people came by to check on me because it was off hours, maybe (God has everything under control), people checked on me because the universe told them to do so. I watched the tourists, left with my doggie bag and walked off the meal. If anything, the scenery, the architecture is pretty amazing. And here’s a chuckle moment: one Ash Wednesday I’m on the L, and a couple looks at me and says, “There are very few catholics here.” Moments prior, I’m walking to St. Peter’s and a bit lost. I ask a gy where it is, and he says, “Take W. Madison there and look for Jesus.” I thought that was a bit harsh until I looked down W. Madison and saw the facade of the church. That was another alone day and it was quite glorious. Be super well, and God has everything under control. T
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