What’s my age

If you’ve been reading any of my post you know I’m divorced and having a real hard time. My life largely revolved around 1 person. My phone was full of pics of her, now it’s largely pics of me which makes me sad. Was with her so long she’s all over my families pics I can’t remove her, but I can’t see her either. I was with that person for what feels like my whole life. It was 12 years from high school to marriage. I missed a section of my life. I never had a girl break my heart when I was young. I was never with another girl. It was a 1 and done thing for me. I got an awesome job and house. Now I’ll never see the person my whole world revolved around again. I just failed at letting her know that. I feel like I grew up without learning somethings that maybe I should’ve. Like everyone I meet has an advantage like they’ve experienced love and lose much more than me. I don’t know how to be 28 and single. I don’t know what a normal 28 year old does, because I did at 22 what a 28 year old should be doing. I would’ve been ok with that as long as it didn’t fall apart. I’m not trying to compare myself to everyone. We are all different but I don’t know what my age is I’m an young old guy. I grew up with a person I thought I knew and moving on from that is nearly impossible. I never dated. I don’t know my age. I don’t want to be old I don’t want to be young I don’t know where I fit. I’m not bar guy,I work all the time, Where do I meet people. I’m not trying to rush back into anything but I want kids. I don’t want to need anyone but I need someone. I can’t do one night stands but where I’m at I can’t have a relationship. I’m having an internal struggle. I think I’ve done the right things and I’m trying to keep doing the right things. It’s getting harder and harder to not just lose it and drink my sorrows away. I can’t and won’t do that but the struggle is real. Something’s missing. I’m a circle incomplete. All my memories of her are like tattoos on my mind. What’s my age again.

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