Trust- Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed.
True unconditional trust is really hard to come by. If someone has that for you don’t lose that. I believe when my dog gets on his back and I rub his belly he truly trust me. like wise when I put my had or face in his face I trust him to not bite me. How am I ever gonna trust another human, When the 1 person I trusted the most in this world took my heart and threw it away. Took my trust and betrayed me. I’m the sucker. I’m the fool.
So I’m in this spot where I want to trust. I feel more and yet I can’t trust. Every relationship needs trust.
I can only trust my dog and my brothers now. That’s it. I can still remember everything that happened to me the day she crushed me. I remember everything I ate, every conversation I had and every feeling I felt. I usually have a horrible memory. I don’t want to remember these things. It truly was the best thing and the worst thing to ever happen to me.
Best because she was my beauty and for some reason I couldn’t find beauty in anything else when I was with her. Now I can’t go 2 steps without finding something beautiful my eyes are open to this world. Before I was just phoning life in, now I got life by the balls. Worst because I was comfortable and had almost everything I wanted. Worst because I have an empty space that I don’t know if I can fill. I can cover it, but will that hole always be there. Worst because how may people like their in laws. They were family to me. Second parents I grew up with them. I could go on and on about why it was bad. It’s good because I can grow up more and make my own way now.
I had so much love for her. Now I have nowhere for all that love to go. I think that’s why I love everything now. I want to trust again. I want to believe in people. I have to believe in people. Be good people pay it forward. Find someone you can get on your back for and have them rub your belly.
I wish you all the best you can trust that.