Elevate-raise to a more important or impressive level
I have always known what I’ve wanted. House, family, job etc… over the past 6 or so months what I want has slightly changed. Who I’m has dramatically changed. I know I want a more important/impressive level of life. You get back what you give out. If you give out positivity and love it finds its way back to you. I’ve met some great people on my recent journey through life. I can only hope that when they think of me they see the person I see in the mirror. When I used to look in the mirror I saw a boy playing house. Now I see a man living life. I had to fall and lose it all to realize how much I really want it.
I have new dreams and goals. Maybe I’ll get them maybe I won’t. Maybe they’ll change again. One things for sure It feels good to have goals again. Adapt or die. I’m currently about to be out of my house its the farthest in escrow that I’ve gotten. I’m about to start a new exciting job as an electrician, which is the exact job I’ve always wanted. Now that I’m 29 and time is running out on some career options. I’ve been tossing around the idea of fighting fires. It’s a tough job to get into and I’d have to do it all before 35ish or I’ll never be accepted. I think I would be great at it because of the little to no fear that i have. No matter if I’m a full time fireman or just a volunteer. I want to save people and this planet and doctor is never going to happen. They have these firemen that parachute down into forrest to fight fires. That sounds like me all the way. I want to elevate my life.
I’m still waiting for the girl I’m waiting for. I’m not expecting to find her. I’m just hoping she’s out there. I’ve had tiny feelings for some girls after I lost the one. Can’t be sure of them couldn’t trust them. Elevate your game. I’ve never been the guy to sit down by a pretty girl and buy her a drink. Not that its easy, the fear of rejection is still there a little but once you’ve been rejected by the love of your life others rejecting you really doesn’t feel that bad. I have been called oldman. That wasn’t cool I’m in the best shape of my life but she was 22 so to her I get it.
Last night me and my coworkers played bags and met some very cool, interesting and beautiful people. It was my exes birthday and I resisted all urges to text her. I have an internal struggle with my x because she was it for me for so long and we were friends first. So part of me wants to talk to her, make sure she’s ok, wish her happy birthday etc… The other part of me is mad at her and never wants to see or hear from her again because of what she did. It just sucks because I still care for her. The struggle is real. I wish I could say I hate her and write her off. I don’t hate her or anyone for that matter. I have no room for hate in my heart. Hate lowers your life I’m going the other direction. I’m on the up and up.
Today is arm day at the gym. I was going everyday to the gym, but I started feeling weaker I couldn’t give my body enough protein to heal. Now I go every other day. I plan on doing today what I do everyday. Something nice for someone and positive words all over the place. I’m gonna elevate this life grab on we’ll go up together.
As always thanks for reading I love those that do and don’t read my post.
Adapt or die.
Judah wessman 
Dude, J…so take this from a late bloomer who got divorced at 24: I so feel what you describe as the urge to do what used to be a natural part of your life. I did something different and it took a long time to right itself: I met with my ex’s family and (we were extremely close), to tell them that I had to leave them because I wanted to make the space in my life for a future family. It was such a sad day but I thought that if I continued to participate in the life that was, I’d lose the emotional space I needed to even connect with someone else, let alone another family.
Today, the youngest sister in law and I are super close, and I’m blessed with that relationship because my ex and I grew up together in so many ways, as did she and I. Looking back I’m not so sure that I should have said that goodbye, yet my life did move on. In my mind my own divorce was not just a deep failure but a public one. I spent two years not dating because I was ashamed, scared and in shock. Kudos to you for not holing up in some isolated space.
On age limits…so sure there are states rules. Everything I’ve pursued since has been under exceptions to those rules, so my phrase of the day for you: continue to be exceptional. The time that many place on an event, career, issue, desire, well if I’ve experienced anything it’s that that time is yours to define.
The great aspect of reading your posts is that you know who you are and what you want. I dunno about you, but I pick this up in each of your posts.
I still think of my ex, and know that I do so at times when I’m most afraid. As if a life that I knew would be more stable that a series of moments of the unknown, or of uncertainties. Knowing how I am really feeling is the key: if I’m scared I’m scared. Leaving behind any negative tools that I use to negotiation myself through those times is the gift: tools no longer needed doesn’t reduce my fears but makes for a nicer, more gentle way to treat others and myself.
✊🏾 To you, T
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks T life does go on. This we know. Your comments mean a lot to me.
LikeLike