Time/Meaning

I’ve been busy mentally and physically.

Time-the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

Meaning-intend to convey, indicate, or refer to (a particular thing or notion); signify

These are two important and closely related things in my opinion. With my new watch hobby, I’ve been thinking a lot about time. Time is amazing there are many ways to define time. let’s start with seconds in seconds you can lift someone up or tear them down usually with very little words. Sometimes a split second decision can save a life. Time heals, time changes, they say every 7 years your cells change. One day you may like olives and coffee even if your whole life you hated them. You may enjoy reading. People change I wouldn’t say completely but somethings. the key is to never lose track of yourself and your priorities. I did. I did so many things without even knowing. I hate who I became and I didn’t even know I hated myself. I lost track. whatever happens in the future. I can’t do that again. That’s a promise to myself. over the past few months that’s what I’ve been doing but I still had a Giant hole. no matter what I did. I understand that time heals all wounds. I didn’t want to heal the hole I had, it was my only way to never forget her. I tried to fill it but all that happened was it got deeper. Life’s weird it took seconds to crush me, it took years to get to that point where I deserved to be crushed. It took months for me to change. It took 1 look from her, 1 text, to spark the flame that’s been there the whole time.

Meaning which I define as significant. We all long for some type of meaning in our life. I had meaning in my life then I lost it, then I lost her. I lost myself Shit I never knew myself. we all find meaning in different things. maybe for you it’s your job, maybe it’s your friends, family and maybe its Alex and jo getting married will he move to Boston. That’s a no brainier. Not much that a person won’t do for love. They will even surprise themselves. I just want my life to mean more. I don’t have to be rich to have meaning. Things don’t give me meaning. she gives me meaning. my will to help people gives me meaning. everytime I see or hear about a shitty¬† person or a shitty father. it gives me the will to be better. It gives me a significant goal in life BE BETTER. You don’t have to be the best just better today then you were yesterday. Find meaning in the simple things. sometimes the simple things are more valuable then anything.

I have a new found outlook on life which has been changing everyday. She’s my all but don’t take this the wrong way she can’t be my everything. I want here to be my all forever, but I can’t become blind to everything else in my life. I can’t lose track of my life again and I don’t know what time will bring. So far it’s brought pain and sadness but it’s also brought Perspective and joy.

Time is our most precious resources use it wisely. Make all your time quality time. Take the time to find meaning. If you do that you will never waste it. It’s elementary my dear Watson. I love you. I never stopped. Life’s something right now, I don’t know or can’t believe what’s going on. one day at a time. adapt or die.

As always I love you if you read this or if you don’t. I mean it.

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