Concentrate.

Concentrate-focus one’s attention or mental effort on a particular object or activity.

So as I lay in bed now I find it hard to think of anything else but her. Shit she’s all I’ve thought of for months. I don’t know what happen before. Somewhere along the way it became hard to concentrate on her. The world got noisy, things got in the way. Well I took it all back. The house, my clothes, my games, my tv, my stuff, crappy things I’ve said and done. I took it all back just to have her. I’m a firm believer in soulmates. She’s mine. Shes my best friend. I want to dance with her at 90, I want to kiss her all the time, I want to lift her up when she needs it, make her laugh when sad, make her dinner when hungry, carry her when she just cant walk, (summer fest) support her in all she does even if she doesn’t want to do anything, open the door for her, lay down on the puddle so she can walk over it and not get dirty, appreciate her for who she is not what she does. A beautiful, smart, strong, Italian woman. It’s hard to find the time to sleep when my mind just wants to think about her. I want everything with her. I have no delusions that it will be a walk in the park (can we) but it’s worth it. Shes worth it. Lifes short. It gets shorter by the minute. She makes time stop, she makes my heart stop and skip. She makes it hard to concentrate. What is love if not this feeling. What is life without love. Love makes you do stupid things. I believe if you follow your heart you cant lose.what is love, baby don’t hurt me. Love hurts it has to. It’s your strongest emotion. Love can make the strongest men cry (Thanos) love can heal. If you love someone let them go if they come back they never really left. I had to travel all over the place 1000s of miles to finally land in a small town where little did I know the love of my life would be. We were probably at the same things as kids years before high school. It just wasn’t time for us. Just think of everything that had to fall in place for us to meet. My aunt had to  have a place in shadow lakes. My family had to move from California to forest park to Braidwood. I had to stop being home schooled. I had to take French. This and so much more brought us together. The world wants us together like Ross and Rachel.like Logan and veronica. Like Jack and Rose. Like Allie and Noah. Cristina and Grey. Like Cory and Topanga. Somewhere along the way we lost track of ourselves which in turn made us lose track of each other. I know who I’m and what I want. I want you. I believe and hope that she knows herself and knows what she wants. I’m here to make a concentrated effort. I’m here. Now let’s make this life our bitch what do you say. P.s. taylor swift concert in the rain was the bomb.

As always I love you if you read or if you don’t read my life journal. Adapt or die.