Merci

Thankful.

To appreciate someone else or something else.

When you say thank you to someone for the simplest thing like holding a door or saying God bless you when you sneeze. Do you mean it. Do you actually appreciate them for their little act of kindness. Or are you just saying thank you out of habbit. It’s funny I watch parents tell their kids how to say thankyou to people. You know you hear it all the time say thankyou to the nice lady etc… we are programmed to be polite as kids. I dont even remember a single ti.e when I was told to say thank you. And yet I try and be polite to everyone I meet. Its amazing what we pick up as kids. And I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful I had 2 parents to program me how to be polite. I’m thankful they are still alive. I’m thankful for having 2 brothers to look up to. I’m thankful for having a sister growing up. I’m thankful I’m alive and free. I’m thankful for my ex wife, my girlfriend, my in laws, my friends, my job, my dog, my future  and my past. I’m thankful for so may things. I’m thankful for the way I was brought up because when times got hard for me I rose up I adapted to the situation and made myself better. I didn’t let the sadness and the failure win. And not everyone situation was or is the same as mine. But many people do go through what I went through. I won’t pretend it was easy. Divorce was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I knew I had to live my life.  I had choice in my moment of despair. To be overwhelmed by it or to embrace it. And by embrace it I mean learn from it and do better. Now choice have always been hard for me i try and be more decisive now. I m thank full for what happened. I know that sounds bad but listen the status quo had to change. I’m I’m a better person today because it did. I’m more sure of myself and I’m more sure of what I want. I’m more thankful,more open. As you can see from my writing maybe a little too open. I  made it. Whatever happens next I can roll. In good times and bad. People deal with things in different ways. We can give advice. I can give you advice stay strong , do the right things dont lose yourself find yourself  etc … and that’s all well and good. But it’s the same thing like if you try and get someone to quit smoking or drinking. If they dont want to you cant force it. They have to do it in their own time and own way. I just know more despair and drinking and giving up on yourself will never help you. The quick highs aren’t sustainable. I’m thankful for what I didn’t do because I could be in jail, I could’ve lost my job, I could’ve lost everything including myself. I think I found myself. The things I want to do would probably shock some and be understandably by others. The thoughts that entered my head on more then a few occasions. I’m thankful I didn’t act on. I lost everything at least I thought. Now I have everything and more. I’m thankful. I took the hard way. I controlled myself and my future. And in the process I realized I want to help others more not for the glory not for thank you. Just to help.

As always ride the ups and downs and be thankful. Love and gratitude adapt or die.

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