Quarter life crisis

Quarter life crisis.

Crisis involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life” which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s twenties up to their mid-thirties (although it can begin as early as 18) It is defined by clinical psychologist Alex Fowke as “a period of insecurity, doubt and disappointment surrounding your career, relationships and financial situation”.

It’s been a year since my quarter life crisis started. I learned a lot. I lost a lot. I bought alot. I spent a lot. I cried  a lot. I died inside a little. And then I figured my shit out. I’ve always gone with the flow. I’m easy going not much I won’t do or eat or say. I let go of a lot. I took it all back and woke up. I always felt lucky. Everything I got like I fell into dumb luck. Found the love of my life early a few good friends. I got my job because my girlfriend/exwife/girlfriend. I made the right choices and it was easy. I never had a hard time making the right choices. And one day I was alone no family, no wife, no friends. Not that these people didn’t exist but miles divided us or divorce or betrayal or fear or sadness. It was hard to concentrate it was hard to reach out to anyone to take about it. Now my brothers were on it they got to be a big brother sfor once in my life not their fault my parents separated us. And I appreciate them for that. My brother flew out and spent a weekend with me and we had some great talks about life not being over but just beginning. We’ve always seen eye to eye. I believe us both to have a very level head. And I flew to see my other brother and spend some quality time with the kids and him it was great but it was back to home alone for me and I came close to making the wrong choices everyday for a while yet I never did. My dreams weren’t dead that’s why i didn’t give up. I made new goals I strived for something new I still do. Money means very little now retirement means very little things mean very little.  All I want is her and kids with her and to help save lives. She changed everything. Sometimes a mistake is what’s needed. I’ve said it before and I mean it I have no regrets. It all works out in the end the good guy wins. I had to experience it to appreciate life that much more. I have 5 years to make my goals a reality. To become a full time fireman. I figured it out with plenty of time to spare but trust me 5 years will fly by. If you are reading this and you relate don’t wait to be with the one you love to do the thing you love. Why would you you dont need a quarter life crisis to change just do it. Make a decision. Dont wait for the shovels and dirt it’ll be to late. It ain’t worth living if you dont get hurt. If you dont feel something. We medicate ourselves to not feel the pain. Pills and booze aren’t the answer. Theres a time and place for booze. Just dont bury your pain it will surface. So I’m on track it’s tough work, fireman training, house stuff, lady stuff. That’s where I shine. I see now that I belong where im at I earned my job. I love my lady. I’m sacrificing my time for a better future a job where I’ll help. I will say this whoever you are make sure you take some me time. Do something to decompress. Nobody can go it alone.Whatever that is for you. Or you will probably burn out. My mid life crisis was fairly simple work, gym, sleep. In a way she was my quarter life crisis she is my life, my everything.

As always I love you if you read this or not. I had to take this road to end up here. Overlook the mud and mess.No regrets.  Love from chicago.