2 pink lines.

“It is a smile of a baby that makes life worth living.”
Debasish Mridha

This isn’t up to date fyi
yes finally the moment has come. after months of trying and worrying about if it’s even possible. questions of will we have to adopt? is there something wrong with me? it happened. and now we get to keep worrying. we get it all. we get to be in charge of another life and hopefully not mess him or her up too much. we are at the 6 weeks mark and my kid isn’t even 1cm yet tomorrow I get to hear the heartbeat of my unborn kid. let me tell you I haven’t been more excited for anything in my life. I know having a kid changes you and at 29 I’ve been through many changes. I know you can never be ready for a kid. God knows time will never be perfect but its perfect and I’m ready. we need some good in our life. babies are pure good and I can’t wait to raise an outstanding human just like his or her mom. now anyone that knows me knows I want a daddy’s girl that doesn’t mean I won’t be just as excited for a boy. now I’m not really allowed to post this post you know since it’s so early and as it stands today we’ve already had a few scares. my wife has A negative blood which means if the babie doesn’t share lt the body may reject the pregnancy. so I was at the fire department on a call I get back to the firehouse and I have some messages that my wife is going to the emergency room so heart instantly drops. I leave my shift early obviously. she had some bleeding and being the person she is she was worried that she lost the babie which is understandable. we wait at the emergency room for about 2 hours they finally see her and say in more or less words that she probably lost the kid so again if it was possible for my heart to drop any lower it did. but I kept my head up they didn’t know for sure. her mom was there also. when she couldn’t get ahold of me she called her mom who didn’t know she was pregnant and said I need you to take me to the emergency room and by the way I’m pregnant. so we all felt the weight of the possible loss and it was early shit I had only just found out myself. she had a blood test it it came back in the gray zone where it was still possible that she could be pregnant. so she got a shot that would help with the blood type and we went on our way. Hoping for the best and cautiously optimistic. she would have to go back and see if the number doubles and guess what it did. sigh of relief. this is when you can clap cheer scream whatever you need to do. not in the clear yet but still in the game and she still had spotting a few days later so still worried we went to see her doctor and got to see our .5cm kid who so far looks healthy. let the rollercoaster continue. I will remain cautiously optimistic. but not gonna lie I’m both as happy as I’ve ever been and as scared as I’ve ever been at the same time.
As always I love you if you read this or not.
Adapt or die

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