We think in our heads that we’ll have all this time. that’s somewhat true days can move slow,but years move oh so fast. as I write this time almost stands still for me. I know all to well that its moving and tomorrow will come for me. My little girl will be here before I know it. my dog will get more grays shit I’ll get grays. my house will evolve and change. change happens usually it sneaks up on you. for example you could gain 1 lb a day for a month and you probably wouldn’t even notice for over a week. I look back at old pics of myself at different stages in my life and I can barely recognize myself. It’s hard to change yourself it’s hard to try something new that being said change can be good. new can be good. things we tell ourselves. I’ll clean that. I’ll fix that. I’ll start working out. I’ll try new things. we should hang out sometime. I know from being the couple that had to plan everything that if I don’t make the move and do it no one will and you know what fuck them. you make the move you be the one to act , to do, to take.
the right path. have I made the right choices. lifes a choice and you might question yours. my story is long and if you think I’m an oversharer you might be right but Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care. I know I’m on the right path I had to lose it all. literally give it all away to get so much more back.you see as people we collect all kinds of junk. sometimes we have to lose what’s most precious to us to realize all we are left with is junk. we take so much for granted. as Americans we take our rights for granted. I don’t want to get over political, but I will say this. no matter my beliefs or your beliefs of some fat old white men from Alabama beliefs. it’s not our job or the government’s job to tell you what to do with your choices and your life if you are a law abiding citizen. soldiers and blood bought our freedom. That being said don’t abuse it. Its precious. every choice we make is precious and could be our last. time is precious. you think you will have time to do everything and anything. not if you never start. go now ,say what needs to be said ,do what needs to be done. I’m at the gym writing this and my shoulder won’t stop twitching maybe I’m stressed,maybe tired who knows. I just want to go to work for a regular amount of time. come home to my family and live a simple life ,but that’s not in the cards for me. my other goals don’t really line up with that and I’m sad to say it because I try not to be stressed I think I might be. what can i say sometimes change is bad also. that’s why we have to be happy in where we are. we tell ourselves if I could only get to this point things will get better. maybe that’s true but maybe when you get there shit will be all different. it won’t look like it did in your head. I used to think when I get done with school and get to the height of my career and get married and have kids. that’s it. I’ll be good. I was wrong. not that the end goal changed. the goal is the same it just looks a little different. I do this thing to my wife. when we are alone and relaxing or have some good quality time. I say this is it this is why we do what we do. this makes it all worth it. I truly believe that. the goal is to just get more of that. we recently went on a little trip to lake Michigan and danced by the water to some Frank Sinatra. it’s time like that. that’s why we do what we do and if your job or anyone takes you away from those kind of moments. tell them from me to fuck off. maybe it’s your job that makes you feel that good which in that case great. I’m not here to rain on your parade I’m here telling you to have as many parades as you can. it’s sad that I had to experience what I did in order to send me it the right direction. Thinking positive has changed my life.
As always love you if you read or not. get going in the right direction. adapt or die