When the smoke clears

“Every once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.”

a lot had to happen for me to get to this point of my life. my parents had to meet in Germany and move to California I had to be born the 3rd child. my parents had to chase their crazy dreams and leave California for a mountain bed and breakfast which had to fail. then we had to travel to Chicago to take care of my grandma. jump from place to place struggle through the good and the bad. finally land in Braidwood just in time for me to meet the love of my life. we had to fall in love get married get divorced and get remarried. and in the end when the smoke settled we have a beautiful baby. call it fate ,call it funny happenstance call it what you will. I call it my fairytale life. the point is you never know. if something bad happens to you. you may ask God why did this happen why me. you may raise your fist high in the air and yell at the thunder. I’m telling you just wait for the smoke to settle wait for life to clear up and in that moment great things will come your way. you can’t see the path in the chaos. we have hope we know it gets brighter we just have to wait. it’s a hard thing to do for us humans to wait. we want things now lifes speeding by and one day you’ll want it to slow down. I do. my baby girl is getting big fast. and I just want to stop I want the growing to stop I want the days to stop because I know before to long she’ll be out there in her own chaotic world with her own problems. her problems are my problems. women say that men don’t understand the fears they go through. such as walking to their car in the dark alone or the fact that every man everywhere is objectifying them. I say as a father of a little girl I share in the fears. I’m afraid of every swinging dick in this crazy world for my daughter. it’s my job to be her protector at least for now. a job I’m happy to do. that being said we still cant live in fear held up inside. we have to get out there we have to make mistakes take chances. get out there and learn what you can help as many as you can and most importantly take joy in life. take joy in bad times find the bright side of life. love was meant to be shared. I hope I can get that across to my baby. I hope when she faces her problems she’ll overcomes them. it took me many years to truly grasp perspective. and trust me I still struggle with this life. I still get clouded by the smoke. I know that if you stop and take a deep breath all smoke eventually settles. I’m equipped now because of my past and what I’ve learned to see that. I’ve gotten my reward at the end of the rainbow my pot of goldolyn. as always thanks for reading my mad thoughts. adapt. dont let the smoke of this world blind you. if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it.

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