Last sunset

 

“Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted.” “What?” asks Charlie. Wonka smiles, “He lived happily ever after.” Willy Wonka.

What did you do with your life? When all is said and done who did you spend your last sunset with? What memories do you have? Is that last sunset as sweet or perhaps more sweet because of the life you lived. You may think I’m being dark here which is not my intent. just real. I know my mortality is real. I’ve lived long enough to see people die and see others born. my mom met her last sunset. she went out on her own terms and if we can all say that in the end I believe it was a life well lived. ok so yes this blog is a lot about death but its also about life. it’s about those that will tell the story of our lives. it’s about the one, our kids and friends. I’ve lived a good life to this point great in fact. made alot of friends loved one woman. had a beautiful baby girl spent time with cousins, nieces and nephews. laughed more than cried. found purpose. helped some and hurt a few. from the day we are born we’re all running against the wind. trying to stand out. trying to find something hell anything. my anythings are my wife and my little girl. they are my chocolate factory. my grand prize and my legacy. We have to decide if we want to be Charlie and do the right thing or be the spoiled brats. Do we sell Willy Wonka out what do we do with our lives.I’ll live on in my daughter as my mom lives on in me. I can remember clear as day the day I met my wife and I can remember clear as day the day my daughter was born. these are spot lights on important days life changing moments. that doesn’t mean that the inbetween isn’t important. the ups and downs the love and loss are all important and great. maybe I’m different than most. I’d like to think not. I’d like to think we all just want to love and live. I’d like to think that evil doesn’t exist. I know it does I know people lose their way. I’ve made mistakes and will again. I’ve probably even done some evil things out of anger and hate. and you know the best part I’m still here I still get a chance to make it right. I get a chance to be the man my mother raised. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave my friends and family ever. I want to see my kid graduate I want to walk her down the asile. I want to rush to the hospital to meet my grandkids. I want to pass in my sleep with my wife of 90 years I want to live a life for others. I want to be remembered for my love. I want to be the fun house. I want my kids to be able to talk to me. I’ve been given a great gift. I hope people can get out of their own ways and realize it’s not about who you voted for or what you do for a living. it’s about how you treat others. if we all could be a little less worried with what others have that we don’t,how others live that we don’t agree with and a little more worried with how can I help. I help others for a living. I fix things I make their lives easier. I wish I could run into buildings and save people but that’s a story for a different day. do you see what I’m getting at. I know what my last sunset looks like because it’s a lot like today’s sunset. I don’t plan on Changing it much other than the people looking a little older and a few younger. maybe you know who’s in your last sunset maybe you don’t. Am I Done no never I’ll never leave my family I’ll never give up give in. I’ll live every day for them. even though I’ll leave I’ll never go anywhere. my daughter is 2 now my friends are a little grayer. my mind is a little wiser just a little. my love for my family is a lot bigger. my sunsets are sweeter. my life is different in the best ways. my faith is definitely stronger. my old self is somewhat a stranger. he shows up sometimes. to remind me of where I’ve been. my sadness for those loved and lost is real. my will to build a life for my daughter is absolute. I’ll never apologize for being me. I’ll never have regrets how do I live such a positive life. how can I say no regrets you may ask. isn’t that like saying you’ve never made mistakes? no I’ve made so many. from all I’ve lost and all I’ve fucked up on I’ve gained so much more . from crying in my car to drinking on my roof. for years I chased a dream and I think because I couldn’t get it because I didn’t get what I wanted when I wanted I kept myself from it but I wasn’t ready for it. I was hurt and I tried to self medicate. it was an unhealthy way to act. it takes the past to see the future. it takes mistakes. so yes no regrets. my own stubbornness and my own self destruction is to blame. we are our own worst enemies. there are many roads to the same place. whichever you decide to take. whatever mistakes you make use them as a tool to get to that picture of your last sunset. and don’t worry if it changes a little over time roll with the punches. live every sunset as if it’s your last.

As always much love from Indiana adapt and live. OH AND ENJOY THE VIEW. I know I have

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