chasing forever

chase. drive or cause to go in a specified direction.

my friends been a minute since we’ve talked about our lives. sure I’ve had a few blogs about my mood. Here’s an update. It’s been a good year almost been In this house for a year. The town I’m in and the house for that matter is something we’ve been chasing for awhile. It’s old ,friendly and so cool. I mean my house has skeleton keys enough said. Our little gwen is becoming quite the person. When you chase a dream like having a little daughter and you get that dream all you want to do is hold onto that dream. and yes she’s not a daddy’s girl yet but she loves me . we laugh and share coffee. we play and eat. someday we’ll camp and fish. someday she’ll chase dreams of her own and I’ll help. we just had her 2 year old birthday party and it’s was a blast bounce house ,cotton candy,friends and family near and far mostly far. 2 years old wow. after that we loaded up on Halloween candy. So many kids made my porch a stop. It was an amazing Halloween experience jumpingspiders and all the apple cider you could want. House is coming along. We love it and yes we are chasing an idea of what it will look like in the next 30 years. more bathrooms. more finished space for the kid. not that these things have to get done. The house is Beautiful and awesome now. Nothing wrong with goals for the future as long as they don’t ruin the present.

See I don’t have some crazy ambition for my life. I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need to climb the ladder at work. I have crazy ambition for my daughter. I have crazy fight for protecting my family. that’s what love does to you. Love will stop you in your tracks. make you do batshit crazy stuff. falling all over yourself. I’ve chased my wife a few times in my life. I’ve know her a lifetime and all the ups and downs that come with that. I never stopped loving her once even when I tricked mmyself into tthinking I had. and yes you should always pursue your lol(love of life) even when you are 100. this can be hard with work, kids,cleaning and house shit. humans chase each other we stop and build a wall around ourselves populate said wall and defend that wall. It’s understandable that when you’re young, dumb and have nothing to lose that 100 percent of your mind/time goes into each other. you know 14 year old me never wanted a girlfriend till he had a job so he could provide for said girl . so he could get her the things she wants or at least the things he thinks she wants . now more often then not love doesn’t wait till you have the perfect life. sometimes people have kids at 16 and I’m sure that’s hard and maybe when you’re 24 and your kid is 8 they tell you they love you and all the hardship melts away. I don’t know. my point is mearly that chasing a dream isn’t always what you think it’s going to be. sometimes it is. Instead of a big high rise it’s a farm or instead of acting it’s teaching. instead of a blonde little girl maybe it’s a red headed boy. instead of the first wife maybe just maybe it’s the second. I love my wife and daughter before myself. which is why sometimes I have to leave them. I spend loads of time on the road for work which does make it extra sweet when I get to spend time at home with them. I do this now so that one day I don’t have to. somepeople have to show how they feel. some have to say it. some chase in silence. some are fucking loud. the fear of the unknown. that chase to yes or no. will you go out with me sometime. what could I change if i change just one answer to one question in my life. what if just one thing in your life was slightly different would you still get where you are. I’m here to tell you yes. I have no doubt.

I chased the fuck out of the idea of having my daughter. we just watched INSIDE the movie with my daughter and in that they have this thing about our core memories the memories that make us who we are. make us decide what we’re gonna chase in life and I guess I could say I owe my childhood for deciding what I would chase. the fact that my parents gave me the idea to chase true love which they had and their mistakes of breaking up the family and never staying in one place made me chase a solid rock for my family. as most past shape us into wanting more for our kids we take the good from our’s easy to reflect on your younger self and say yes this is how it was supposed to happen I don’t know if I’m saying how as much as I’m saying this was going to happen. ever since I chased my wife down those high-school halls. do you believe in love at first sight absolutely. I loved my daughter at if not before first sight and I believe I loved my wife at first sight just as my father when he met my mom in that army bar and said I’m gonna marry that girl. we chase that love. we want that love. in this country we chase big dreams. we do big things . we’re not built on stitting still we chase. that’s why I think even when it feels hopeless it’s not. chasing dreams is a form of hope. it’s why when I was at my lowest I kept going. so please hold onto that when you are at your lowest. chase that picture of how you want that life to be. you want kids. chase it. you want a raise. chase it. do one thing to move the needle to that goal. problems can be very big when looked at as a whole but when you narrow your vision to one thing at a time suddenly we can overcome anything. and we need to chase to fail and ultimately to succeed. we have to try at least.we all come from somewhere .we carry that place wherever we go.never to leave our heart. None of us can predict where our journey will lead .we will suffer loses along the way, but we hope to learn and grow from those experiences and from the company we keep on our journey. Somewhere within this unknown journey is purpose. All that’s left to do is chase it.
as always much love from Indiana adapt and live.

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