a baby. the only thing that we leave in this world that really leaves a lasting impression on this world. our kids the future. so I had my daughter. and truth be told very happy just having the one kid. now I may have said I wanted more kids. but I could never picture anything beyond my daughter. I thought it was scary having her. but with her I could picture her so well it was kinda like I always had her I just hadn’t met her yet. I’m just being real don’t take this as I don’t want another or I’m not excited. I’m happy and sad for my daughter. happy she’ll have a sibling sad she won’t get 100 percent of her mom and dad. being one of 4. I know the feeling for me that was fine .my brother is my moms favorite and my sister and other brother have been at times my dad’s favorite. I’m kinda always in the middle. which I loved I got to see what to do and what not to do. this isn’t me saying that I wasn’t loved . my mom had enough love for 8 kids . I’m just saying I didn’t need as much attention and maybe that’s out of necessity Because I wasn’t gonna get it . the good kid rarely gets the most attention. they did support my athlete career. to an embarrassing degree. everyone could hear my mom. I guess my point is I don’t know what the fuck to expect. if I have a son that’s great one of each. if I have a daughter gwen will have a sister which is great. both good options. you never know how your life’s gonna end up. never. one thing is for sure. life is better with a kid. holidays are better just everything. honestly with 2 I’m worried life will be to good. also watching one kid is hard enough. I feel like we have enough toys for 8 kids. sadly we don’t have enough bathrooms yet so I’m working on remodeling and adding.our life gets us ready for what’s next God rarely gives you more than you can handle. you may think it’s more . god knows at times I get overwhelmed. like when your adding a bathroom and your other bathrooms tub cracks . or crazy winds flip your patio table and it shatters into a million pieces. whatevers going on in your life trust that you can prevail. break it down 1 thing at a time in your head at least. prioritize. maybe look at the situation from a different perspective. ok we’ve wandered a little. back to baby. having a summer kid. so this time next year going to have 2 kids for Christmas and a wife. the American dream I guess. 2 kids a dog a wife and a piece of land to call home. it was bound to happen gotta fill this giant house up. me and the wife are going to be out numbered soon 2 kids with 1000 percent energy versus 2 old Parents who are wiser but definitely not as energetic. it’s amazing how quick kids are. Gwen is so fast turn around and she’s up the wall. Will they like each other. Will they be there for each other Will we as parents convey the importance of having these strong bonds will we learn from the faults of the past. What if it’s a boy can I teach him to be a fine upstanding person in a very hard world. What if it’s a girl can I protect her till she leaves us. You’d be surprised humans have an extraordinary capacitance for love and pain. Especially woman God knows I couldn’t give birth I get a cold and become a baby. So knowing that I take solace in the fact that we can all adapt and live. I’m excited for the whole experience again. See the kid try to walk,dance ,talk. And eventually run. What a personality our children have . Not encumbered with thoughts of embarrassment. You can see their minds turn in real time. You can see the wonder in their eyes and the joy. So for that I’m the most excited. When my daughter yells out I did it. As a parent whatever it is that they did I’ve never felt as much pride and joy myself even if it’s something as simple as tying her shoes. My greatest achievement will always be my kids and I’m not sorry about that in the slightest. I hope today finds you well. I hope you overcome your fears and hang ups. I hope you know you have the ability to handle anything in your own life. Much love from Indiana adapt and live.